This article by the Brunswick News contains several errors.
From the 6th paragraph:
“Parents are already taking advantage of the computer-provided window into their the lives of their children.”
There, there are two “theirs”. Whups!
On a more subtle note, toward the end of the article it reads:
“Charlene Spence, student information systems coordinator who works with the program daily, said…”
Shouldn’t there be a “the” or “a” before “student information systems coordinator,” perhaps? Or maybe even a comma after “coordinator?” I’m not absolutely positive, but the sentence seems wrong as it stands.
In the very next sentence, we find two different tenses:
“It's also convenient. If anything like an address or phone number were to change, parents will be able to adjust contact information one time instead of filling out several forms.”
Instead of “parents will be able,” it should say, “parents would be able.”
Then, two paragraphs further, it has “For information” just hanging out all by itself. It’s just chillin’. It doesn’t even need to be there because right below it there is a link to the website, and it already has a proper introduction of its own. Looks like they went with the second option and forgot to take out the original preface.
Then, when they do give the link, they don't bother to create an actual hyperlink. I know that this is because they just copied and pasted the print version, but still, if they want to stay alive they should probably start taking the online aspect of their paper more seriously.
I hate to rag on my hometown paper, but I do wish it weren’t so terribly easy to find glaring mistakes in their their articles.
Friday, February 13, 2009
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Charles-Ryan,
ReplyDeleteSome good catches here. Aside from the language issues, what did you think of the content of the story? Was it clear and complete? Was it interesting and well organized? What could be done to make it better?