Smith's interview with the former student, Erica Renee Johnson, added strength and validity to the article. Unfortunately that validity somewhat waivers because the sub-headline and the lead conflict in reference to whether Johnson is an “alumnae” or an “alum.” Considering The Red & Black is a student-run newspaper that serves as a learning tool for aspiring journalists, such an error is not terribly egregious. However, upon looking up the entry in the AP Stylebook, neither one of these uses is correct.
The AP Stylebook entry reads:
alumnus, alumni, alumna, alumnae Use alumnus (alumni in plural) when referring to a man who has attended a school.
Use alumna (alumnae in the plural) for similar references to a woman.
Use alumni when referring to a group of men and women.
Since the article is about one former student who is now on a reality TV program, the sub-headline and lead should both use “alumna.”
Minus this error, the editing of the article seems to be clean. The lead mentions the title of the program and the network it is shown on, important information to include in this type of article. I like that the final sentence tells the reader the day and time the show airs, but if I had edited the article I would probably have included the network again in the final sentence.
It is my guess that the decision not to include it was based on the network being in the lead and either the reporter or editor not wanting to duplicate information. But I think in an article like this one it is acceptable to repeat that type of information. When I reached the end of the article I had forgotten which network the show was on and had to look back to the lead to find out. In my opinion that defeats the purpose of the final sentence, which is to let the reader know when and where to watch the show.
- Brittany Cofer
Brittany,
ReplyDeleteNice catch on the "alumna" style point. That's one that staff members of a university newspaper should be familiar with.
Good point also about repeating the name of the network at the bottom of the story. There would be no harm in that. Even better would be to break out the information in a separate box that would stand out more prominently and be a visual element for the page. Maybe that was done in the print edition.
I'm curious if you would do anything with the content of the story as an editor. It's a pretty interesting story, but it suffers somewhat from the problem of taking readers' knowledge for granted. I found myself piecing together what the show was about as the alumna's commentary unfolded. It would be better to summarize the show's premise and basic challenge at the top of the story, so readers don't have to scratch their heads and play detective as they work their way through it.
It's almost always best to assume readers aren't as familiar with the story's subject as you are (particularly when you're working beats like administration -- go ask 20 random students to name the provost, and then consider whether you're doing an adequate job identifying him in your stories).
Perry
That's a really good point. I honestly did not know what the provost does, so I just looked it up. I will make sure to be more curious from now on when reporting and try to answer those types of questions. I think it is important for students to know what the administrators do and how their work affects (correct?) the student population. Thank you for pointing that out!
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